Tag Archives: Relationships

I Brushed My Teeth with Tap Water in Mexico Again


episode4IG

Habits are going to screw you or save you.

We are in Mexico and my husband Soren is standing at the sink, and he KNOWS you don’t use tap water in Mexico to brush your teeth. So he’s standing there, with his toothbrush in one hand and puts the tooth paste on it, then reaches for the sink, turns it on, then stops because duh Mexico water. So then turns it off, opens the bottled water, pours it over his toothpaste tooth brush, brushes his teeth and then 30 seconds later, reaches and turns on the tap to rinse, then stops because duh Mexico water. Pours the bottles water on his toothbrush to wash it off, then reaches for the tap AGAIN to get water to rinse his mouth! And then starts to crack up and then finally, uses the bottled water for time #3 because BIG DUH, Mexico water.

Habits. Love ’em or hate ’em but the habitual brain is TOTALLY in charge. How to use that to your advantage without Montezuma’s Revenge.

On My new Podcast – Episode #4:

How Habits Rule Us and How You Can Take Back Control

Go here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/i-brushed-my-teeth-with-the-tap-water-in-mexico-again/id1385109404?i=1000412366274&mt=2

To get more info on Katie’s online courses, Mastermind Membership, or to bring her to your company or conference for a workshopor Keynote Speech, go here: https://katiegoodmanspeaking.com

SHOW NOTES:

This is my Annual Women’s Improv Self-Discovery Retreat in Montana – You Should Come

My Husband Soren’s Chill App about Mindfulness

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

If you go to Tulum, go see this Cirque du Soleil Cuz It’s Amazing

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Flourishes


Flourishes

Last week I asked the wrong question in my blog: What is your definition of success? I wondered about happiness and about accomplishment and how the twain shall meet. But my real question was how do we have a basically fulfilling life. And I think the answer is that “meaning” is what leads to a sense of fulfillment and happiness. This is not exactly a news flash, so why do we spend so much of our time in the land of accomplishment, comparing ourselves with the competition, working toward a raise or promotion, and simply trying to just get shit done?

I started reading Martin Seligman’s new book Flourish. So far it answers the question of what leads to “well-being.” Interestingly, happiness is relegated to just one piece of the pie and this he calls Positive Emotion. Ya know: smiling a lot. The others pieces are Flow or Engagement, Relationship Building, Love, Meaning (which is something bigger than the self), Gratitude, and finally Success or Mastery for it’s own sake, which he calls Accomplishment. This is a much clearer picture of what it takes. It’s a nice check list. You can look at it and say, oh that’s why this month sucks: no relationship building. Or, what am I missing? No mastery. Got it.

Last week I was in a bit of a funk and for no apparent reason, it seemed. I was getting all kinds of accolades and juicy bits of success, which were meaningful because I love my work, and I was having terrific lunches with friends (relationship building), and my health was good and I appreciated it (gratitude). What was missing? Ah! No flow! Flow is a big part of my life when I’m writing – it’s about being so caught up in what you’re doing you don’t notice the time fly by. When mid-week I started writing 2 new comedy songs, things turned around.

One of the things Seligman talks about is how much energy many of us put into accomplishment, but it’s often pursued even when it brings no positive emotion, no meaning, and no positive relationships. There is a piece of this that is important and that’s mastery. This looks like winning for the sake of winning. This is a part of well-being, but in our culture of winner-takes-all it can become our main focus, swallowing up all our time without our stopping to notice that it’s not doing much for us in a big-picture-am-I-happy sort of way.

But how do we stop? The addictive nature of achievement is supported by the culture. Yeah, there’s meditation, there’s vacation, there’s really good and surprisingly cheap Chardonnay, and of course sex. And sometimes all together. But the next morning, many of us just pick up where we left off, go to work and spend the day grasping for more “success.”

A check list like this might help. Separating the bits of one’s day, week, year, life with a look at the pieces of the pie is helping me step back and see if I’m giving enough time to each part of the Well-Being cocktail. Like a Long Island iced tea, mixed properly, you won’t wake up each day hung-over, wondering why you’re depressed.

But one other thing I noticed in this plan is that almost all of it involves other people. Gratitude is often about others: Better Relationships and Love are (duh), “Meaning” which is caring about something bigger than yourself can be about saving the planet which is in part about caring for people and our future, and Accomplishment has something to do with what others think of you, or at least offers an opportunity to gloat/share/wonder with others. So I’m taking a look at what each of these on this checklist has to offer my life in connection to other people and to give that some weight and attention.

It’s the people, stupid.

Right now I’m on a plane with my cute kid (Gratitude), on the way to a Memorial Day vacation (Positive Emotion), to see family (Relationship Building, Love), writing this piece and finishing a song (Flow), and tackling my new music software (Mastery), while trying to figure out the formula for well-being and writing this song that satirically criticizes the upcoming federal budget cuts (Meaning).

Check, check check, check, check, check, check. With a flourish.