Category Archives: LIFE COACH

No News is Good News


Screen Shot 2017-10-28 at 11.40.03 AMSo, you wake up every morning with a sort of looming dread. It’s been a year or more of this. The newspaper is sitting by the front door or you grab your phone to read it online. You go from a state of relatively refreshed well-being (because unconscious), and then you basically screw yourself. Bam. The reality of what’s happening in our country and our planet comes crashing back down. Great way to start your day. You’re a genius. Fun times.

So how do we protect ourselves and still remain decent citizens who give a crap about making the world a better place? If we don’t pay attention, we feel guilty or we feel out of it. And then guilty. I have met several people who say they are empaths and this time is just too difficult for them. Dude. You don’t have to be an empath. It sucks for everyone. So what to do?

Here are some strategies both emotional and practical that I have been working with this year that can maybe help.

1. Drink heavily.

2. Okay kidding. Let’s start over.

1. This one is stupidly obvious: don’t start your day with the news. Seriously though, give yourself at least one hour of carefree ignorant bliss. Make pancakes for your family. Brush your teeth. I mean how do you expect to save us all from North Korea when you haven’t brushed your teeth. First things first. And then experiment with that. Can you possibly go until lunchtime? Unless you work in news or education or perhaps political satire (gaaahhhh, I know, I screwed the pooch), the only real repercussion that will probably happen is that you’ll not know what people are talking about and have to hear about the news at the water cooler. I’m going to shock you: I’ve decided not to read the news until lunchtime. Your coworkers will look at you, horrified, but give it one month. You’ll be changed. And they will either sneer at you with jealousy, or follow your lead. Either way you win.

2. Change the way you read your news. One thing I did for a little while was save to it up. Read the papers all at once but only every 3 or 4 days. My husband was concerned that I was becoming a hoarder, because of my stack of 4 newspapers, which were eventually relegated to the closet until I was ready to read them so friends didn’t do a hoarder intervention… Cuz, I’ve already been on one reality TV show… It was a great way to skim what I needed to know without having to do it every day. And in fact – – bonus! – – by the time you get to it, three out of four stories are moot anyway! Or at least all you really need to know is what’s in that fourth installment of that news item and you didn’t need to know all the steps along the way. Start on the 4th paper and work your way backward in time.

3. Weekly magazines or weekly online wrap-ups! I love the week in reviews. I also like weekly magazines because you get more in-depth conversation and complexity rather than just up-to-the-minute hyperbole and clickbait.

4. Talk to humans. This one feels important. But it’s certainly more interesting than reading headlines or catching CNN’s Breaking news. This probably doesn’t hold for you if you’re doing weekly visits to your Breitbart-obsessed uncle. In that case try a quick conversation changing distractor like: “Hey! Did you know The Jews invented football?” Then watch him try to work out what to do about that.

5. The history channel: when all else fails, watch something about The American Revolution, The Civil War, The Holocaust. And while you might think this is a horrible idea, because your brain starts making connections to the dystopian future that seems to be looming, it does help to remember that everything is cyclical. Most of all, politics. There will be a moment again in our future where we can look forward to more of that hopey-changey stuff. I promise.

6. Watch the show “Bob’s Burgers.” I don’t know. It might help.

That’s all I got.

Whatchew got? Tell us here:

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LMFAO or You Suck Bitch:


Read on Huffington Post, or below:

LMFAO vs. You Suck, Bitch:

A Civil Discourse on the Nature of Youtube Comments From Haters & Trolls

If you’ve got an on-line presence, you’ve got on-line haters. It’s just a fact of life. But what makes the haters hate and the trolls troll? When I think about what I actually hate (and I’m a relatively sane person without many loaded guns in my basement, on most days), it’s always political: I hate the powers that be that are taking away my rights, hate corporate greed, hate misogyny… But hate someone because they aren’t funny? No. I just feel bad for them. So when someone says you aren’t funny and really goes at it in attack form on your Youtube comments, there’s something under that. It’s just sort of a law of psychology.

People ask me all the time how I can stand the hater comments. They look at me like I’ve got a heart of steel, but that isn’t the case. If a friend or peer who I respect critiques me I take it to heart and listen and think about it. But the haters? Couldn’t care less.

So here’s how to become someone who isn’t really fazed by those comments. Understanding where the hate comes from is the way to loosen its grip on you:

Okay, reason #1: Jealousy. Have you ever watched something and thought there was no reason on god’s green earth they should be famous and making all that money and getting laid like that on a Tuesday night when you are just as funny and living on a 7th floor walk-up in New York and eating nothing but the olives you took home from the company Christmas party? And you really want to tell them so?!! Jealousy. And frustration. Put those together and you’ve got: “This shit isn’t funny! What a fucking loser!!!! I hope she loses all her money and her house.” (Actual quote.)

Hater Reason #2: They just don’t agree with you. See my reason above for my hate. There are very few uber conservative comics out there, so I don’t have many opportunities, though I’m always more fascinated than hateful, but when I do see something misogynistic or gay-bashing it’s rarely funny to me. So when I read, “This dum-ass ugly fat bitch thinks she’s funy and can sing,” (actual quote, actual spelling), I just know they aren’t playing for my team. Or, as in the homophobic, closeted responses to my song about homophobic people being possibly maybe really closeted and gay, I know they got caught in their own trap and can’t stand it. (See Probably Gay). My favorite Youtube comment for that song being, “You are sick. When I watch gay porn, I just think it’s disgusting.” Um, when you watch gay porn?!?! I rest my case.

Reason #3: They wish they were comedians. Oops, back to reason #1…

Reason #4: No one is listening to them in real life and it’s frustrating for them to see audiences laughing and applauding for you. No, wait, that’s also… Dang. I thought this blog would be longer.

Reason #5: You remind them of their ex.

Reason #6: You remind them of their father

Reason #7: You remind them of their inadequate sexual skills?

Reason #8: You do actually suck and you remind them of themselves??? Okay, I’m reaching here but just trying to be fair that it’s possible sometimes we do suck. But again, that’s back to jealousy because if you suck and are successful (which we have all seen) then it’s back to your haters blaming fate and luck that they aren’t also sucky and successful. Powerlessness breeds hate. Like when I can’t remember how to program my DVR and have to ask my husband. It’s all those hate-things wrapped up into one! Powerlessness! Jealousy that he can! Self-hating my own misogyny — for god’s sake am I really a girl who can’t program my goddamn DVR?!?! All wrapped up in one which makes me hate the DVR and the people who created the system. And all the money they made on it. Fuckers.

And finally Reason #8: They are just assholes who hate everything and want to look cooler by saying so. But again, this is probably not a person you would have fun with. Or sex with. Back to square one of insecurity as well as #7. Walking around hating everyone all the time probably would benefit from a good therapist. Or some excellent scotch. Or a blow job occasionally. Just sayin’.

So, there ya go. If people give you useful feedback, use it. If it’s hate, know from whence it cometh and ignore it. Now go back to doing what you do well.