Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Miss Piggy


“Hiiiiyaaaaaaa!” Blonde hair and pink felt fly across my tv screen.  What I learned about feminism as a kid from Miss Piggy:

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1. When you have been wronged, speak up. Or karate chop.

2. “Kermie…?”

When you want something from someone it usually doesn’t work to be cute. Any scene that started with “Kermie….” in sweet dulcet high-pitched (drag) tones and batted eyelashes, usually ended up with indignant shouting and flying felt. That bitch could turn on a dime.

3. And yet, all fear The Pig. Do not cross her. She knows what she wants and she will get it with or without your fucking help.

4. In all situations, look pulled together. After you throw a fit, pat your hair back down.

5. Direct others. A lot. (Check.)

6. Voice your opinions, listen to others’ opinions (briefly), but know yours are right. Push them through without compromise. Compromise is for wimps.

7. Make sure you are the center of attention. There can only be one diva.

8. And to wrap up, never let a man write your lines… (Kidding, Soren – my husband who co-writes my show.) But even though there’s a little anti-bitch backlash in the Muppets toward her, they still listen up when she speaks. Always.

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