I’ve got it. I figured it out! Here’s the deal. Complaining makes you focus on what’s wrong. And if affirmations ain’t cuttin’ it for ya to help you focus on what’s right and what you want more of, then you’ve got to just not focus on either the good or the bad: you’ve got to Create. Who hasn’t experienced the feeling of being totally alive and present when you’re creating something? Writing a letter, brainstorming at a good staff meeting, playing an instrument, building something, cooking, imagining, and yes, the creative activity evolution insists upon: sex. How more present can ya get than sex? (Well, I mean, when it’s done well.)
So, let’s forget what’s good or bad and how it’s all going, and assessing everything because complaining is intrinsic to all that. Let’s try a week of being totally immersed in something we adore as the anti-dote to complaining. Now that many of us have spent a week snapping our wrists with bands or whatever trick we used to get mindful of our habit of complaining, I think we can move on. ‘K?
The quote I’ve kept on my desk all these years is this one:
“The opposite of war isn’t peace. It’s creation.”
– (Lao-Tsu??? Osho? Nope! It’s from the musical “Rent!” How cool is Broadway??! And how much of a geek am I??)
And man, does it take the pressure off of having to be so not complain-y. You just don’t even have to think about whether things are working for you or not. So this week…
Ignore all assessment of how your life is going. Whenever you get into that place, instead pick up a pen, turn on music, call someone fun, etc. GET OUTSIDE YOURSELF. Become more present, more fun, more engaged. Maybe even just do something for someone else. And take a whole week to not check in and see how you’re doing or anything. Just play! And let us know how it goes.